You may find yourself in a situation in which a mental health crisis is occurring. You need to know the proper steps to take in order to handle such a situation. Non-judgemental listening and empathy are big parts of handling a crisis situation. Learn about both and how they play a role.
What is non-judgemental listening?
Non-judgemental listening is a vital part to helping a person in need. What does this mean? Your opinion and personal experience impact your decisions every day. This is not an issue for everyday life, but when helping a person in need, the two should be left out. The experiences that the person is going through are real and impactful to their life. No matter what your feelings are on the matter, the person deserves respect and validation. You do not have to agree with them or pretend to feel the same way, but you must acknowledge that they are experiencing emotions that deserve help.
Something that most teens can relate to is when they have an emotional situation that their parent does not seem to validate. Maybe a test is coming up, but the parent still seems to think that their work is more stressful. Maybe the parent is not empathetic after a bad breakup because “teen relationships don’t last anyway”. Many things happen in our lives that leave a lasting impact. No matter what age you are, it is important to understand that someone else may be going through something that affects them in a larger way than it necessarily would affect you. Putting aside your opinion on the issue and giving the affected person respectful attention creates an environment for healing.
What is empathy?
A common misconception is that sympathy and empathy are synonymous. The two are, however, different in impactful ways. What do you think the difference is?
Video explaining the difference
Sympathy is a feeling of pity or compassion towards another person for their situation/life. Sympathy is often used in circumstances in which a person has died or been injured. That card that you send to your friend when their grandparent dies is sympathetic. You are sorry for them and see the situation from your own point of view.
Empathy is when you can understand what the person is going through by putting yourself in their shoes and connecting on an emotional level. Rather than having feelings about their situation from your own perspective, you put yourself in their perspective to be able to understand why they feel the way that they do. This leads to acceptance rather than looking down upon their circumstances with pity.
How to start
There are two types of situations that require aid. In order to choose the correct course of action, you must decide if the crisis is suicidal or nonsuicidal.
Suicidal means that the person is attempting to harm oneself in order to result in their death. Common signs include seeking harmful resources, such as pills or weapons, parting with their belongings and loved ones, taking part in reckless behavior, and communicating through writing or speech about death or the desire to die. Other signs exist and not all signs are present in each person. The best way to know if a person is suicidal is to directly ask them. This can be an awkward or difficult task to do, but it is in the best interest of the person that you find out whether or not they are suicidal.
Nonsuicidal crisis situations are when a person is harming themselves without the intent to result in death. Cuts, bruises, and burns on the body all suggest that a person is doing bodily harm to oneself. In situations like these, you still must ask if the person is suicidal in order to determine how to proceed in helping them. Be aware that whenever you ask someone if they are suicidal, they may not be ready to share how they really are feeling. Pay attention to nonverbal cues that the person might not feel comfortable opening up at that time. When in doubt, seek professional help. It is better to overhelp than underhelp.
Once you determine if the person is suicidal or not, follow the correct path of action.
For suicidal crisis situations
- Approach the individual in a comfortable and non threatening way.
- Ask the person if they are suicidal and need help.
- Remain calm and do not be expressive of shock or fear in response to what they say.
- Do not leave the person alone for any reason. Even if they are telling you that they are fine, you never want to leave a potentially suicidal person alone.
- Call the police. Give them the appropriate information such as if they have a weapon or have already ingested harmful substances. The police will send help. If you are in school, get to the nearest adult for help.
- Reassure the person that they are experiencing normal emotions that can be helped to remind the individual of the hope that exists.
- Maintain the cultural/societal boundaries needed for the situation. This means correct language, space, and touching.
- Allow the individual to express themselves and validate that their feelings are real.
- Wait with the person until they have professional help.
- Seek help for yourself if needed after handling the traumatic experience.
For non suicidal crisis situations
- Approach the individual in a comfortable and non threatening way.
- Ask if they are suicidal. If they are, follow the steps for a suicidal crisis situation. If not, follow the next steps.
- Do not accuse the individual or create a situation in which they become defensive.
- Do not physically try to stop the person.
- Remain calm and do not be expressive of shock or fear.
- Ask the person if they have ingested anything dangerous or if they need medical attention. For these situations, call the police. If you are in school, find the nearest adult and make sure the nurse is called.
- If not, ask how you can help the situation and share your concern for their well being.
- Maintain the cultural/societal boundaries needed for the situation. This means correct language, space, and touching.
- Refer the person to any professionals that you know of. First, contact a trusted adult to help the situation.
- Contact the family if appropriate about the problem.
- Follow up with the person to ensure that they have help in seeking professional assistance.
For all situations, the individuals must be reminded that there is still hope for change and that treatment is possible. While the person should not be ashamed for the way they feel because it is not their fault, suicide is never an option. Suicide is not a solution. There are many safe alternatives that can result in a better life for the person. If you do not know what else to do, remind the individual that there is always hope and that life can get better. In all situations, find help from a professional so that you do not have the pressure of the crisis all on you.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Youth Mobile Crisis Intervention: 1-800-977-5555 or 1-866-549-9990
Being Active with Mental Health 